About fakecoachwilson

Not really Kevin Wilson, Head Football Coach for the Indiana University Hoosiers. @FakeCoachWilson is a parody account exclusive to Twitter, WordPress.com, & CrimsonCast.com

The End — Godspeed, @FakeCoachWilson

As you’ve figured, the career of the @FakeCoachWilson Twitter account has come to its natural and inevitable end. The circumstances of Kevin Wilson’s resignation from the Indiana Football program have made make it awkward and increasingly irrelevant to continue. Personally, I fully support the actions undertaken by Fred Glass in his choice to transition the leadership of the program to Coach Tom Allen.

It’s time for new voices to take the lead on the #iufb twittersphere, so I will leave the role of  fake head coach to others. Remember, it’s a strange sort of responsibility. Even in the voice of parody, those who take the mantle must be sure to represent the sort of program that they would like Indiana Football to be.

First and foremost, my greatest thanks go to Kevin Wilson for not only providing the basis of the character but for his hard work in building the sort modern football culture in Bloomington which has been lacking for a generation. The unique character of the actual Coach Wilson made the story easy to write, taking strands from everyday happenings to build an alternative character who would share many of his strengths. Coach Wilson is not only a football coach of the highest ability and intellect, but a thoughtful and quality individual who brought an expansive sense of family from his own life into the greater Indiana Football community. I also believe that real Kevin Wilson is way funnier in the real world than @FakeCoachWilson was on the internet. I wish nothing but the best for Kevin Wilson and his family.

Thanks to all of the Indiana Football beat writers who have kept the information flowing over the years — without your help, there would have been no content to riff from. The long list starts with Dustin Dopirak, Hugh Kellenberger, and Mike Miller working for the Herald-Times, Zach Osterman, David Woods, Mark Alesia, & Terry Hutchens from the Indianapolis Star, Mike Glasscott, Ken Bikoff, and the line of Indiana Daily Student reporters. Credit also goes to the many folks behind the fantastic blogs which cover #iufb. Please keep reading and supporting @CrimsonQuarry, @HoosierHuddle, & @PuntJohnPunt as the fight they good fight. Also, thanks to national reporters Dan Wolken, Doug Ferrar, Adam Jacobi, Adam Rittenberg, Dan Wetzel, and Pat Forde for playing along, as well as Dave Revsine of the Big Ten Network for being a good sport.

Closer to home, thanks for the support of @CrimsonCast and its principals Dr. Galen Clavio & Scott Caulfield for being a voice of reason in the wilderness of IU fandom, and thanks to @ChronicHoosier for being the founding father of the original IU commentariat and twittersphere.

Thanks to the members of the small fraternity of parody coaching accounts on Twitter. Particularly @DaggumRoy, @FauxPelini, & @BeingBeliema for their support and inspiration. I’d also like to recognize the brief and glorious run of @HopefulDanny and the folks behind the account up the road at Boiled Sports.

None of this would have carried on without the tolerance of the Indiana University Athletics Department. Special thanks to Fred Glass and Jeremy Grey for their forbearance. An apology is owed to Tom Crean — @FakeCoachWilson needed a foil, and the basketball program provided just too much to opportunity. Like all Hoosiers, we stand firmly and enthusiastically behind the #iubb program. Also, a huge thanks to Tracy Smith for building the Indiana Baseball program into a new and wonderful Bloomington tradition.

 Thanks go to young men who have chosen to represent our University. Their commitment, delivered through uncountable hours of dedication, should not be taken for granted. For playing the harsh and demanding game of football while undertaking their college experience, they deserve our thanks. The list of unique and talented individuals over the Wilson years is long and will not be forgotten. From Tre Roberson & Cam Coffman, to Kofi Hughes & Cody Latimer, to Tevin Coleman & Jordan Howard, to Greg Heban & Mark Murphy, to Nate Sudfeld & Ted Bolser, to Jason Spriggs, Dan Feeney & Collin Rahrig, to Mitch Ewald & Mitchell Paige, Teddy Schell & Matt Dooley, to Shane Wynn & Zander Diamont, and so so many others — thank you so much for being Hoosiers and building such a strong legacy for Hoosier teams to come.

It’s been a strange thrill to be the steward of this character and account, from the appearance of a #helmetsticker banner during Season #1 to Mike Glasscott dropping a #victorybacon reference on the stadium PA during the Old Oaken Bucket game this past November. It’s been a pleasure to interact with so many Hoosiers through the account — while the credit is to be shared with all of you, I’d like to give a spotlight of thanks to @JeffShowalter for his relentless enthusiasm.

Finally, my thanks to my attorney @JasonLKennedy for his support and keeping me from being sued.

Thanks for your support & #victorybacon forever.

Godspeed Hoosiers, @FakeCoachWilson

(If you’ve made it this far, please go ahead and follow @iufbcommenter where, you know, things might happen…)

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The Last #CrockpotWednesday: San Francisco Chops

Without the staff to feed, this one’s for the #FakeWilsonFamily. Even though the Twitter account will go silent, the blog with all the #CrockpotWednesday recipes will still be here. Keep cookin’ slow, Hoosiers.

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Ingredients

2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
4 pork chops, about 1-inch thick
Salt and pepper for seasoning
2 cloves garlic, finely minced
1/4 cup reduced-sodium soy sauce
1/4 cup low-sodium chicken broth
2 tablespoons packed light brown sugar
1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes
1 tablespoon cornstarch
1 tablespoon cold water
Hot Cooked Rice, for serving

Directions

1. In a large 12-inch skillet, heat the oil over medium-high heat until it is simmering and hot. Season the pork chops on both sides with salt and pepper. Brown the pork chops for 1-2 minutes on each side in the hot oil until golden. Transfer the chops to the slow cooker. Add the garlic to the drippings in the skillet and stir constantly over medium heat until the garlic is aromatic and golden (but not burned or it will turn bitter!). Stir in the soy sauce, broth, brown sugar and red pepper flakes; cook and stir until sugar is dissolved. Pour over chops.

2. Cover the slow cooker and cook on low for 7 to 8 hours until the meat is tender. If using bone-in pork chops, fish out the bones from the slow cooker. Remove the chops from the slow cooker to a shallow pan or plate – they will most likely be falling apart in tenderness at this point. In a small bowl, combine the cornstarch and cold water until smooth. Whisk the cornstarch slurry into the sauce in the slow cooker. Return the chops to the slow cooker. Turn the slow cooker heat to high and cook for 30 minutes to an hour longer, until the sauce is slightly thickened. If you want a super duper thick sauce, once you remove the chops from the slow cooker, pour the sauce into a pan and place it over medium heat on the stove. Add the cornstarch slurry and bring the sauce to a boil. Boil for 1-2 minutes until the sauce is thick. Add the pork and heat through.

3. Serve the tender chops over rice and garnish with green onions, if desired.

 

#CrockpotWednesday: Beef Bourguignon

Bucket Week means it’s time to pull out the big guns — meaning we got into Mrs. Coach’s red wine stash last night and cranked up a fancy French beef stew to get ready for the Boilers. Go ahead and serve with a crusty baguette.

slow-cooker-beef-bourguignon

INGREDIENTS

2 lbs. boneless beef chuck, cut to 1 inch cubes
1 tablespoon oil
4 slices bacon, finely chopped
2 large shallots, finely chopped
¼ cup tomato paste
3 garlic gloves, finely chopped
1 tablespoon fresh thyme
½ cup all-purpose flour
1¾ cups Pinot Noir
5 medium carrots, sliced
8-10 medium sized new potatoes, halved
1 cup chicken broth
¼ cup soy sauce

DIRECTIONS

Dry beef with paper towel and season with salt and pepper. Place half of it in the slow cooker. Heat oil in a 12 inch skillet over medium-high until just smoking. Brown remaining 1 lb of beef well on all sides, about 7-10 minutes; transfer to a slow cooker

Cook bacon in skillet over medium-high heat until crisp, about 5 minutes. Stir in shallots cook until translucent. Add in garlic and thyme and cook for 30 seconds. Stir tomato paste and flour; cook for 1 minute. Slowly whisk in 1¼ cups wine, scrapping up any browned bits and smoothing out any lumps; transfer to slow cooker. Add in carrots and potatoes to slow cooker.

Stir broth and soy sauce into slow cooker. Cover and cook until beef is tender 9-11 hours on low or 5-7 hours on high.

Source: http://realfoodbydad.com/slow-cooker-beef-bourguignon/

 

#CrockpotWednesday: Jambalaya

When you’re headed to Ann Arbor, there’s no way to know what the hell Harbaugh might throw at you. A steaming crockpot of Jambalaya from Coach Shelby reminds you that every mouthful brings something unexpected. (Go ahead and throw in another jalapeno if you want to take it up a notch)
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INGREDIENTS
  • 1 package andouille sausage
  • ½ pound uncooked shrimp (peeled and de-veined)
  • 1 large boneless skinless chicken breasts, pounded to even thickness
  • 3 bell peppers (one each of green, red, and yellow or orange), diced
  • 1 white or yellow onion, diced
  • 2-3 jalapeños (see note), seeds and stems removed
  • 1½ cups uncooked white rice
  • 2 cups low sodium chicken broth
  • 1 30-ounce can crushed tomatoes
  • 1 tablespoon minced garlic
  • 3 tablespoons store-bought or homemade cajun seasoning
  • ½ teaspoon each salt and pepper, or to taste
  • cilantro or parsley, for topping (optional)

DIRECTIONS

  1. Slice sausage into sections (about ¼ inch thick slices). Remove tails from shrimp if they are still on. Chop chicken into 1-inch pieces.
  2. Add sausage, chicken, bell peppers, jalapeños, chicken broth, tomatoes, minced garlic, cajun seasoning, and salt and pepper to greased slow cooker and stir to combine. Cover and cook for 3-4 hours on low. Stir in rice and cook another 1-2 hours until rice is fully cooked and tender
  3. About 20 minutes before serving, uncover slow cooker, stir in shrimp, re-cover and cook for another 15-20 minutes. Stir contents of slow cooker, sprinkle with chopped cilantro or parsley if desired, and serve hot.

(Source: http://www.lecremedelacrumb.com/2016/08/slow-cooker-jambalaya.html)

#CrockpotWednesday: Creamy White Chicken Chili

Word has it that Penn State Coach James Franklin wants to bring a State College-style “White Out” to Bloomington on Saturday — Coach Greg Frey started scheming early and has came through with a lunchtime white-out of his own.
white-chicken-chili-crop

Ingredients:

3­-4 boneless skinless chicken breasts, uncooked 1 1/2 teaspoons chili powder
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1/2 teaspoon onion powder
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
dash of cayenne pepper
14.5 ounce can chicken broth
4.5 ounce can chopped green chiles 15 ounce can white corn, drained
2 15.5 ounce cans white beans, drained (Cannellini or Great Northern)
3 tablespoons butter
3 tablespoons flour
1 cup milk
1 teaspoon chicken base

1/4 teaspoon white pepper
1/2 teaspoon seasoned salt
1/2 cup sour cream

Directions:

Place chicken breasts on the bottom of a crockpot, and add chili powder, cumin, onion powder, garlic powder, cayenne pepper, chicken broth, green chiles, corn and beans. Cook on low for 6-­8 hours.

About an hour before serving: In a small saucepan, melt butter over medium high heat. Whisk in flour, and allow to bubble and brown a bit. After a few minutes, gradually whisk in the milk and chicken base.

Allow the sauce to simmer for 4­5 minutes, whisking frequently until it is slightly thickened. Add salt and pepper.

Pour sauce into crockpot and mix to combine.

Add sour cream and mix.

If chicken has not already shredded with stirring, take out large pieces, shred them with two forks, and return to the crockpot.

Let the chicken chili cook on low 1 more hour if you can.

(Source: http://lovelylittlekitchen.com/creamy-crockpot-white-chicken-chili/)

#CrockpotWednesday: Pizza Casserole

Any given day of the week, you’re likely to get a whiff of fresh pizza somewhere in The NEZ. Getting ready for the trip to Piscataway, Coach Joseph puts the pizza in the crockpot for a cheesy, gooey mess of pasta and pepperoni.

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Ingrediants:

1 box  Penne or Rigatoni Pasta (or any pasta of choice, really), cooked al dente
2 cans pizza sauce
1 lb. beef, browned
1 package pepperoni
16 oz. mozzarella cheese

Directions:

Cook Pasta to “al dente”

While the box of pasta is cooking, start browning your beef, then add in pizza sauce and stir well.

Once your pasta is cooked, mix the meat mixture and pasta together, then pour into the slow cooker.

Layer the mixture into the slow cooker, put some tomato sauce at the bottom of the crock pot, and add my noodle/beef mixture, add some cheese on top, then top with pepperoni.

Then add more pasta/meat, more cheese, then more pepperoni.
Layer the top of the casserole with cheese and pepperoni and put the lid on the crockpot. Let it cook for about 1-2 hours until everything is melted and smelling delicious.
(Source: http://thecardswedrew.com/crockpot-pizza-casserole/)

#CrockpotWednesday: Crab Dip

After the radio show, Coach Frey comes up big in Maryland game prep with some blue crab-based gooey goodness. Consensus around The NEZ is add a little extra Old Bay… Hell, if you’re feeling frisky, go with JO crab spice.

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INGREDIENTS

12 oz. cream cheese
1/2 c. grated Parmesan, plus more for garnish
1/2 c. mayonnaise
1/2 c. thinly sliced scallions, plus more for garnish
2 garlic cloves, minced
Juice of 1 lemon
1 1/2 tbsp. Worcestershire sauce
1 1/2 tsp. Old Bay seasoning, plus more for garnish
12 oz. canned crab meat (drained and flaked)
Ritz Crackers, for serving

DIRECTIONS

In a slow-cooker, combine cream cheese, Parmesan, mayonnaise, scallions, garlic, lemon juice, Worcestershire, and Old Bay and stir until combined.

Fold in crab meat and cook on low, 2 hours.

Garnish with Parm, scallions, and Old Bay. Serve with Ritz.

(Source: http://www.delish.com/cooking/recipe-ideas/recipes/a44678/slow-cooker-crab-dip-recipe/)