The End — Godspeed, @FakeCoachWilson

As you’ve figured, the career of the @FakeCoachWilson Twitter account has come to its natural and inevitable end. The circumstances of Kevin Wilson’s resignation from the Indiana Football program have made make it awkward and increasingly irrelevant to continue. Personally, I fully support the actions undertaken by Fred Glass in his choice to transition the leadership of the program to Coach Tom Allen.

It’s time for new voices to take the lead on the #iufb twittersphere, so I will leave the role of  fake head coach to others. Remember, it’s a strange sort of responsibility. Even in the voice of parody, those who take the mantle must be sure to represent the sort of program that they would like Indiana Football to be.

First and foremost, my greatest thanks go to Kevin Wilson for not only providing the basis of the character but for his hard work in building the sort modern football culture in Bloomington which has been lacking for a generation. The unique character of the actual Coach Wilson made the story easy to write, taking strands from everyday happenings to build an alternative character who would share many of his strengths. Coach Wilson is not only a football coach of the highest ability and intellect, but a thoughtful and quality individual who brought an expansive sense of family from his own life into the greater Indiana Football community. I also believe that real Kevin Wilson is way funnier in the real world than @FakeCoachWilson was on the internet. I wish nothing but the best for Kevin Wilson and his family.

Thanks to all of the Indiana Football beat writers who have kept the information flowing over the years — without your help, there would have been no content to riff from. The long list starts with Dustin Dopirak, Hugh Kellenberger, and Mike Miller working for the Herald-Times, Zach Osterman, David Woods, Mark Alesia, & Terry Hutchens from the Indianapolis Star, Mike Glasscott, Ken Bikoff, and the line of Indiana Daily Student reporters. Credit also goes to the many folks behind the fantastic blogs which cover #iufb. Please keep reading and supporting @CrimsonQuarry, @HoosierHuddle, & @PuntJohnPunt as the fight they good fight. Also, thanks to national reporters Dan Wolken, Doug Ferrar, Adam Jacobi, Adam Rittenberg, Dan Wetzel, and Pat Forde for playing along, as well as Dave Revsine of the Big Ten Network for being a good sport.

Closer to home, thanks for the support of @CrimsonCast and its principals Dr. Galen Clavio & Scott Caulfield for being a voice of reason in the wilderness of IU fandom, and thanks to @ChronicHoosier for being the founding father of the original IU commentariat and twittersphere.

Thanks to the members of the small fraternity of parody coaching accounts on Twitter. Particularly @DaggumRoy, @FauxPelini, & @BeingBeliema for their support and inspiration. I’d also like to recognize the brief and glorious run of @HopefulDanny and the folks behind the account up the road at Boiled Sports.

None of this would have carried on without the tolerance of the Indiana University Athletics Department. Special thanks to Fred Glass and Jeremy Grey for their forbearance. An apology is owed to Tom Crean — @FakeCoachWilson needed a foil, and the basketball program provided just too much to opportunity. Like all Hoosiers, we stand firmly and enthusiastically behind the #iubb program. Also, a huge thanks to Tracy Smith for building the Indiana Baseball program into a new and wonderful Bloomington tradition.

 Thanks go to young men who have chosen to represent our University. Their commitment, delivered through uncountable hours of dedication, should not be taken for granted. For playing the harsh and demanding game of football while undertaking their college experience, they deserve our thanks. The list of unique and talented individuals over the Wilson years is long and will not be forgotten. From Tre Roberson & Cam Coffman, to Kofi Hughes & Cody Latimer, to Tevin Coleman & Jordan Howard, to Greg Heban & Mark Murphy, to Nate Sudfeld & Ted Bolser, to Jason Spriggs, Dan Feeney & Collin Rahrig, to Mitch Ewald & Mitchell Paige, Teddy Schell & Matt Dooley, to Shane Wynn & Zander Diamont, and so so many others — thank you so much for being Hoosiers and building such a strong legacy for Hoosier teams to come.

It’s been a strange thrill to be the steward of this character and account, from the appearance of a #helmetsticker banner during Season #1 to Mike Glasscott dropping a #victorybacon reference on the stadium PA during the Old Oaken Bucket game this past November. It’s been a pleasure to interact with so many Hoosiers through the account — while the credit is to be shared with all of you, I’d like to give a spotlight of thanks to @JeffShowalter for his relentless enthusiasm.

Finally, my thanks to my attorney @JasonLKennedy for his support and keeping me from being sued.

Thanks for your support & #victorybacon forever.

Godspeed Hoosiers, @FakeCoachWilson

(If you’ve made it this far, please go ahead and follow @iufbcommenter where, you know, things might happen…)

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The Last #CrockpotWednesday: San Francisco Chops

Without the staff to feed, this one’s for the #FakeWilsonFamily. Even though the Twitter account will go silent, the blog with all the #CrockpotWednesday recipes will still be here. Keep cookin’ slow, Hoosiers.

chops-plate-jpg

Ingredients

2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
4 pork chops, about 1-inch thick
Salt and pepper for seasoning
2 cloves garlic, finely minced
1/4 cup reduced-sodium soy sauce
1/4 cup low-sodium chicken broth
2 tablespoons packed light brown sugar
1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes
1 tablespoon cornstarch
1 tablespoon cold water
Hot Cooked Rice, for serving

Directions

1. In a large 12-inch skillet, heat the oil over medium-high heat until it is simmering and hot. Season the pork chops on both sides with salt and pepper. Brown the pork chops for 1-2 minutes on each side in the hot oil until golden. Transfer the chops to the slow cooker. Add the garlic to the drippings in the skillet and stir constantly over medium heat until the garlic is aromatic and golden (but not burned or it will turn bitter!). Stir in the soy sauce, broth, brown sugar and red pepper flakes; cook and stir until sugar is dissolved. Pour over chops.

2. Cover the slow cooker and cook on low for 7 to 8 hours until the meat is tender. If using bone-in pork chops, fish out the bones from the slow cooker. Remove the chops from the slow cooker to a shallow pan or plate – they will most likely be falling apart in tenderness at this point. In a small bowl, combine the cornstarch and cold water until smooth. Whisk the cornstarch slurry into the sauce in the slow cooker. Return the chops to the slow cooker. Turn the slow cooker heat to high and cook for 30 minutes to an hour longer, until the sauce is slightly thickened. If you want a super duper thick sauce, once you remove the chops from the slow cooker, pour the sauce into a pan and place it over medium heat on the stove. Add the cornstarch slurry and bring the sauce to a boil. Boil for 1-2 minutes until the sauce is thick. Add the pork and heat through.

3. Serve the tender chops over rice and garnish with green onions, if desired.